Monday, May 18, 2009

Properties of the Fairer Sex


HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
DATA SHEET


ELEMENT: Woman
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 55kg, but known to
vary from 45kg to 225kg



PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint
2. Boils at absolutely nothing -freezes for no apparent reason
3. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore


CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones
2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning
3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man


COMMON USE
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can greatly aid relaxation
3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent


HAZARDS
1. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen
2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact



Disclaimer: Highly-controversial and extracted solely (from a local magazine) for its entertainment value, the above write-up does not reflect the blogger's own opinion.

2 comments:

  1. LMAO!!! I LIKE! Don't really agree with some... but... interesting. 'body' surface covered with a layer of powder and paint?? This person doesnt know the female anatomy well enough... I think there's more under the CHEMICAL properties part... somewhere along the lines of pheramones and 'unable to think' reagent? hehe.

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  2. ?? dont understand a single thing man.. does tt mean i am neither male nor female??

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